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The Rights of Man, Woman and Transsexual

The authors are in the employment department at Bates Wells & Braithwaite. Copyright 2001 Times Newspapers Ltd. 30th January 2001

Employers are disturbingly ignorant of sex change issues, say . With 5,000 transsexuals in Britain, issues about gender reassignment are arising within the workplace with increasing regularity. Several employers have sought advice from us in the past year about the treatment of employees undergoing gender reassignment. Although few cases about transsexuals have been reported, it is clear from the output of the Equal Opportunities Commission that many cases are being brought, and often settled. But there appears to be a disturbing ignorance among employers about the legal protection of transsexuals and good equal opportunities practice.

In 1996 the European Court of Justice held, in the case of P v S and Cornwall County Council, that the dismissal of an employee because she was starting gender reassignment was unfair and contrary to the European Equal Treatment Directive. As a result, the Sex Discrimination (Gender Reassignment) Regulations 1999 were brought into force. They amended the Sex Discrimination Act 1975 to extend protection in employment and vocational training to anyone who ‘intends to undergo, is undergoing or has undergone gender reassignment’.

Gender reassignment is defined as ‘a process undertaken under medical supervision for the purpose of reassigning a person_s sex by changing physiological or other characteristics of sex and includes any part of such a process’. There is no definition of ‘intends’ within the regulations but clearly more than cross-dressing is envisaged (although individual freedom of expression by way of dress is now to some extent protected by the Human Rights Act 1998). The category of individuals protected is wide, with no differentiation between pre and post-operative transsexuals.

Less favourable treatment of a transsexual is permissible in limited circumstances: where the job requires performance of intimate physical searches or doing work or living in a private home where objection may reasonably be taken by the individual to this degree of intimacy and contact. These genuine occupational qualifications are applicable at all stages of the gender reassignment process.

There are two further exceptional circumstances: where it is necessary for the employee to live in shared accommodation, or where personal services are being provided to vulnerable individuals ‘and in the reasonable view of the employer those services cannot be effectively provided by a person whilst that person is undergoing gender reassignment’. However, these two genuine occupational qualifications do not apply to individuals who have undergone gender reassignment.

There is thus, evidently, potential for difficulty with, for example, a care worker who has completed the process of changing but by whom an elderly client does not wish to be cared because the client is aware of the transsexuality. A refusal to provide work would amount to discrimination. Employers and prospective employers should bear in mind that tribunals are able to draw the inference of discrimination from the very fact of less favourable treatment.

It is often practical issues that cause difficulties at work. In particular, there is the question of which lavatory a transsexual should use. The answer is straightforward: whichever he or she prefers to use. If this preference causes embarrassment among staff, the employer must attempt to inculcate a more enlightened attitude. A last resort may be to agree with the transsexual that a lavatory be designated as unisex (this should preferably not be the same as the disabled facility).

This course of action was approved by an employment tribunal in the 1999 case of Bourne v Roberts & the Post Office. Equally, employers are often concerned about when other employees should be informed about a change of gender. All that is required is agreement on a timescale and to be flexible. Again, it should be borne in mind that the legislation encompasses the whole process from the stage of intention onwards. Personnel records should be updated at an appropriate point, and any references to previous gender removed (save if required for specific and legitimate purposes, such as insurance or pension records). It is an anomaly at present that transsexuals are unable to alter their birth certificates to reflect a change in sex.

The regulations do not address the question of discrimination in areas other than employment, such as education and access to goods, facilities and services. However, it is recognised that domestic legislation is inadequate and is likely to be expanded. Last May a case brought by a transsexual, Lisa Jones, against a landlord who asked her to stay away from his pub in Honley, near Huddersfield, settled for £1,000 compensation plus a £600 contribution towards costs. We can expect more such cases in future.

By Lucy McLynn and William Garnett

Gender Trust – 2003, This information sheet is distributed by the Gender Trust and is intended as a basis for information only. The Gender Trust does not accept responsibility for the accuracy of any information contained in this sheet.

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Frequently Asked Questions about Transsexuality

Most of us are perfectly comfortable with the fact that we are male or female. In fact we normally never give it a thought. But there are a very few people who feel they were born with the wrong body – men who feel they should have been born women and vice versa. These people suffer from a recognised medical condition known as gender dysphoria and are generally referred to as transsexual.

Because transsexual people are born with bodies that seem perfectly normal to other people, we may suspect that the source of these deep seated feelings about the body arises from the brain. A report from the Netherlands Institute for Brain Research confirms this theory. In examining the brains of many individuals, including homosexual men, heterosexual men and women and six male-to-female transsexuals, they found that a tiny region known as the central region of the bed nucleus of the stria terininalis (BSTc), which is believed to be responsible for gender identity, was larger in men than in women. The BSTc of the six transsexuals was as small as that of women, thus the brains of the transsexuals seem to coincide with their conviction that they are women.

The rate of occurrence of transsexuality is not accurately known. Because of the social stigma attached to being transsexual, arising from a widespread lack of awareness of the true nature of the condition, it is something that is often kept hidden. Therefore it is only possible to collect statistics on the numbers of declared transsexuals and such figures undoubtedly represent only a proportion of those affected. Not very long ago estimates of the rate of occurrence of male-to-female transsexuality might have been around 1 in 100,000 of the male population. Today, with the greater awareness and openness that exists, some estimates now put the figure at greater than 1 in 10,000. It is known that other chromosomal or intersexed conditions can have rates of occurrence of, or approaching, 1 in 1,000 of the population and it may well be that this is the true order of magnitude of transsexuality.

Rates of occurrence of known female-to-male transsexuals are significantly lower, typically being around 1/3 to 1/4 of the rate for male-to-female transsexuals. However, this rate has varied somewhat with time and between different parts of the world. This suggests that varying cultural factors might play a role in the decision to be open about the condition.

The currently accepted and effective model of treatment for the condition of transsexuality utilises hormone therapy and surgical reconstruction and may include counselling and other psychotherapeutic approaches. Speech therapy and facial surgery may be appropriate for some male to females, and most will need electrolysis to remove beard growth and other body hair. In all cases, the length and kind of treatment provided will depend on the individual needs of the patient. The male to female will take a course of female hormones (oestrogen) similar to those used in the contraceptive pill and HRT, the female to male will take the male hormone testosterone.

At this time they will also be required to carry out the Real Life Test, during which they will be required to legally change their name and all documents to show their new gender identity. All documents including passport, driving licence, medical card, etc can be changed, but at present it is not possible for UK citizens to change their birth certificate. During the Real Life Test they will also be expected to live, work and socialise full time in the new gender role, to deal with any problems which may arise for example at work or within the family, and generally become familiar with the reality of living this way. After a minimum of a year (two years if being treated via the NHS) if the Real Life Test has been successful and the psychiatrist is satisfied with the person’s progress, they can be referred for surgery. After surgery the person will continue to take hormones for the rest of their life, but probably at a reduced dosage.

Because the BSTc is so small none of the non-invasive imaging techniques currently available can measure it, it cannot be detected through scans, X-rays of blood tests. Diagnosis is carried out through lengthy and in-depth assessment by a specialist consultant psychiatrist, however it is important to understand that gender dysphoria is not a psychiatric condition, nor is it a mental disorder.

In a male to female transsexual person, the effects of feminising hormones vary greatly from patient to patient but most patients experience noticeable changes within 2-3 months, with irreversible effects after as little as 6 months.

The main effects of feminising hormones are as follows:

1) Fertility and ‘male’ sex drive drop rapidly, erections become infrequent or unobtainable and this may become permanent after a few months.

2) Breasts develop, the nipples expand and the areolae darken to some extent, but typical final breast size is usually somewhat smaller than that of close female relatives.

3) Body and facial fat is redistributed. The face becomes more typically feminine, with fuller cheeks and less angularity. In the longer term, fat tends to migrate away from the waist and be re-deposited at the hips and buttocks, giving a more feminine figure.

4) Body hair growth often reduces and body hair may lighten in both texture and colour. There is seldom any major effect on facial hair, although if the patient is undergoing electrolysis, hormone treatment does noticeably reduce the strength and amount of re-growth. Scalp hair often improves in texture and thickness, and male pattern baldness generally stops progressing.

5) Many people report sensory and emotional changes: heightened senses of touch and smell are common, along with generally feeling more ’emotional’. Mood swings are common for a while following commencement of hormone therapy or any change in the regime.

In the female to male transsexual, where biological females are prescribed androgens, changes include:

1) A permanent deepening of the voice, this usually occurs within four months and is irreversible.

2) Permanent clitoral enlargement occurs.

3) Some breast atrophy, but at this stage it is usual to bind the breasts.

4) There is cessation of menstruation within three to six months

5) Increased strength and weight gain particularly around the waist and upper body with decreased hip fat. With exercise this can take the form of muscular development. Testosterone will not alter height or bone structure.

6) Growth of facial and body hair is likely to follow the pattern of hair growth inherent in the family, for example if other male members of the patient’s family have a tendency to baldness or if they do not have a great deal of body hair this is what can be expected with hormone treatment.

7) Increased social and sexual interest and arousability may occur and there may also be heightened feelings of aggression.

The most frequent form of surgery for male to female patients is known as penile inversion. When carried out by a skilled and experienced gender surgeon the results look almost indistinguishable from the external genitals of a natal woman. The transsexual women, however, does not have ovaries and a womb, is not able to conceive and does not have monthly periods. During the operation tissue and skin from the penis and scrotum is relocated to form a vagina and clitoris. Following surgery the patient will need to keep the newly formed vagina from closing up by performing regular dilation.

In the female to male, surgery is often carried out in stages, and the first stage is usually removal of the breasts with a bilateral mastectomy during which the nipples are preserved but may need to be reduced in size. The next stage is usually hysterectomy and oophorectomy to remove uterus and ovaries. Both these stages are commonly performed operations and can be carried out by any competent surgeon who does not necessarily need experience of gender reassignment surgery. Further stages are more specialised and involve metaidoioplasty for construction of a microphallus by surgically releasing the enlarged clitoris, or possibly phalloplasty which is construction of a penis. There are various techniques in use for phalloplasty, but as yet there is no method which can produce a totally realistic and fully functioning penis. Scrotoplasty may be carried out at the same time, or separately, to create a scrotum from the labia and silicone implants.

There is no evidence of any genetic link to the condition of gender dysphoria and therefore it is not something that is known to be passed down through generations of the same family. Nobody knows exactly what causes the condition, although there are various theories that consider a possible link between hormone disturbance in the mother during the first weeks of pregnancy or other interruptions to the normal course of pregnancy while the foetus is at a critical point of development.Is this Person a Man or a Woman?

In this example let us look at the male to female transsexual person. Gender dysphoria occurs when the person believes themselves to be a woman, their brain knows them to be a woman, even though their physical body may be that of a man. The only ‘cure’ for gender dysphoria is to change the body to match the brain. Therefore after surgery both brain and body are those of a woman. This person is in all respects a woman, even her passport will show this. It is therefore extremely painful for such a person to be addressed as ‘him’ or ‘Mr’. Having gone through so much to find a sense of inner peace in their true gender role, they should rightly expect to be treated as the woman they know themselves to be.

Even after hormone treatment and surgery, a transsexual male to female, may still retain certain male physical characteristics. These may include a voice that is unusually deep for a woman, or they may be very tall, or have large, hands and feet and heavy bones, particularly in the jaw and brow area of the face. They may have a receding hairline and need to wear a wig. When you meet this person for the first time you may feel shocked, uncomfortable or uncertain how to treat them. Hopefully you will understand that this is a medical condition for which the person is receiving treatment from highly qualified doctors and consultants, that they have been carefully assessed and diagnosed, and in many cases their treatment has been carried out under the National Health Service. If you think of it in this way you will find it easier to accept that this is a genuine and serious situation. If you are willing to accept this person for who they are, you will be helping them to adjust to a very difficult life challenge, and you may find you are making a very good and loyal friend.

What is the Difference Between Transvestite and Transsexual?

The differences are very distinct between a person who cross dresses and someone whose brain is telling them they belong to the opposite gender role. The transvestite may just cross dress occasionally, or may enjoy dressing regularly either in the privacy of their own home or to socialise. Some live full time in female clothes, but they always retain their core identity of themselves as male and will not want to consider gender surgery. Generally TVs who are “out” are sociable and may attract a lot of attention, they may enjoy wearing outrageous or fetish outfits and spend a lot of time involved with their clothes and appearance. It has often been observed that TVs tend to be heterosexual males while drag queens and female impersonators are often gay men. Although transsexual people are often very concerned about their dress and appearance, this is not the driving force behind their cross dressing. For the transsexual person clothes are an expression of their core female identity and many strive to blend in by studying how women of their age and background dress and learning how to tailor their appearance and mannerisms to attract as little attention as possible.

The above is a general guideline, but this is far from being a black and white issue and most cross dressers would place themselves somewhere on a gradient between the outrageous female impersonator at one extreme and the totally integrated post operative transsexual at the other. Many people who later go on to complete full gender reassignment begin the search for their true identity within the transvestite community, perhaps this is the only obvious and safe place where they feel they can cross dress. Also there are very few social groups where transsexual people meet, so those who enjoy socialising may be attracted to transvestite clubs. Many individuals feel very confused about their true gender identity, so how can an outsider be expected to judge whether a person is TV or TS when that person themselves does not know – or cannot accept – where their true identity lies and is therefore not giving out any clear signals about themself.

Long before they begin medical treatment, in fact often long before they even realise what is happening within them, most transsexual people will already show signs of thinking and behaving in ways more usual to the sex opposite to that of their physical appearance. They will frequently recall knowing from childhood that they were in some way “different” and it is usual for a transsexual woman to remember dressing in the clothes of a mother or sister, having a dislike for traditional boys’ toys and games, and feeling more comfortable in the company of girls.

Because of social pressures, particularly on young men, many transsexual people enter a period of denial in their late teens, in which they try to suppress any thoughts or feelings to do with their gender identity. For example it is common for a male to female to take up a typically male profession such as the armed forces, police, engineering, lorry driving, and also to marry and have children. They tell themselves that this proves they cannot possibly be a woman. At this time of their life they may also absorb themselves totally in a career – often becoming very successful – or in some form of sport or hobby which occupies all their spare time. Some may continue to cross dress.

But in time the stress begins to build until the person no longer feels able to keep this thing hidden and they need to seek help and medical treatment. When the gender dysphoria has been suppressed in this way for many years, the person may have developed other problems such as severe depression or a dependence on alcohol or drugs, and this will also need to be dealt with, along with any commitments to family responsibilities. There may be a break with wife, children and siblings, a change of career, loss of home, money and security, so the road to gender transition is an extremely difficult and often painful one.

Transsexual people often reveal themselves to be extremely isolated individuals, some people never make it through transition. Those who do have to find a lot of inner strength and determination to keep going. During transition these people need the support and understanding of friends and family as well as work colleagues and society in general. After surgery it is common for many people to melt away into society, living a normal life and often nobody guesses what they have been through. However the scars created by the pain of living with gender dysphoria for many years may remain and make it difficult for them to settle into an ordinary lifestyle.

Transsexual people are just ordinary people who experience all the challenges and problems that everyone has to deal with. Some are optimistic and cheerful, some slip easily into depression, some are determined, some are fragile, some make friends easily, some find socialising difficult. They are people like everyone else – they also suffer from a condition called gender dysphoria.

Understand what is happening, and accept the person for who they truly are – this is often all a transsexual person wants from you. Try to offer encouragement and support. Imagine how you would feel if it was you – take a moment to try and imagine how you would feel if you woke up tomorrow morning to find your body had become the opposite gender.

After all it could easily have been you who was born with this medical condition, nobody knows exactly what causes it but the dysphoria is believed to occur in an unborn baby during the first three months of the mother’s pregnancy. Someone who has already been through so much does not need to be victimised and taunted, humorous remarks, clever comments and other subtle ways of intimidation can cause intense pain. Also remember it is now against the law to discriminate against someone because they are transsexual.

Gender Trust – 2003

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My Facial Feminisation Surgery

Smoakie Bulle Just after midnight on New Year’s Eve 2000, six months or so ago, my friends and myself were invited into a house across the road from where I live to join a party. It was one of those only- on-New-Year’s-Eve-with-a-skinful-occasions, and when I went in I was treated as the bloke across the road in a frock. It was he and him without cease – they just saw me as male, unbelievably, and I began this year deep in yet more of those unending tears back at my flat. Will this never end, I said, is there no way out of this? After all I have done, after living well as a woman for all this time, rarely read, or so I thought, after Sex Reassignment Surgery, after thousands of little white oestrogen pills, with a skin like a baby, a girl at last and happy and well in my world? After all I’ve been through, and it means nothing?

Right, I said to my partner, gritting my teeth yet again, this is it. I’ve had enough, I won’t live with this. I’m going to have my face fixed this year no matter what. You see, I knew what it was these people were seeing, what it was in me that made them see the old maleness; it was in the structures of the bones of my face, and this is what I decided had to be changed. In for a penny, in for a pound, that’s my way. I forgot how to spell kompromize a long time ago. Why stop before the end? Why not the best?

I stumbled on the Anne Lawrence website (annelawrence.com/twr) years ago, and with its links it has led me through many a maze, and it was here that I learned of Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS). Go and look for yourself, and what you will find is a revelation. Once you see it, it’s obvious, and male and female faces are never the same again. It all comes down to hormones again, that demon testosterone and the ravages it had on our bodies and minds.

In late adolescence, boys turn into young men. I’ve watched this happen to my son, who is now eighteen. The bones change, and what makes a man a man, and brings a woman like myself a life behind a mask, is the creation of, from the top down;

The brow ridge, and brow bossing. For me, the most significant of all. Like many results of the work of testosterone, my browridge formed almost a hood over my eyes. The line of the forehead in profile came down, then out just before the eyes, then right in. Oestrogen does not make this happen, and the brow in natal women remains the same as in children, where the line of the forehead comes straight down, leaving the eyes more open and unhooded. As we first look at the eyes when we meet someone, this subconscious marker of gender is highly significant.

The nose in the natal female is often smaller, narrower, less significant; the testosterone nose wider, more powerful a presence.

The prominence of the chin and the line of the jaw. This is more well-known. The female chin comes more to a point, it is rounded and is slighter in profile; it doesn’t stick out so much. The testosterone jaw is often wider, coming to strong angled points below the ears.

Of course, faces come in billions of forms, none of them the same, and masculinity and femininity shows in other ways on the face, but the main markers of maleness and femaleness are consistent. Freud said that the first point of recognition when we meet a person is that of gender; is this a male or a female? The rest of identity follows, is built on this. The subconscious indicators of gender come in the form of dress and body language, ways of moving, ways of dressing, the skin, the voice, the way we speak, the way the person feels to us; on and on. Many of these we can work at and change, but the bone structures of the face, the frame upon which the skin hangs, can only be changed by surgery, and this is what we look at first, this is what sets the tone for all that folows.

If you look on the Net, you will mostly see the work of Dr Ousterhout in San Francisco. The results of this surgery can be astonishing; craggy male faces turned into attractive women’s. For some, a life which would be unbearable becomes a joy.

No wonder so many transsexual women don’t mind what Dr Ousterhout charges; anything to get me out of this! When I contacted some of the women who had put their results up on the Internet, I was told of Ousterhout’s costs, and my heart sank. Around $28,000. Plus two trips to San Franscisco. It comes to around £20,000. A great surgeon, no doubt, but way too expensive for me.

So I looked for alternatives. This was not so easy. What I was looking for specifically was a cranio-maxillary-aesthetic surgeon with experience of transforming the transsexual face at a good price. I needed a surgeon who works with the bone structures of the face, with empathy and understanding of who and what I am, and these guys hardly come on every street corner.

Still, with determination I found one, not advertised at all, tucked off in a corner of Belgium. Dear Dr Noorman van der Dussen. I went to see him in February, loved him, and had extensive facial surgery at the Eeufeestkliniek in Antwerp on April 18th. Not bad, eh? Less than four months from New Year’s Eve and it was all done.

I had my brow ridge removed; Dr Noorman van der Dussen (all of this is his surname, let’s call him Dr NvvD) told me afterwards that he had removed about 1 centimetre of bone from over my eyes. A centimetre! Usually these things are done in millimetres. I had a lot to lose.

My nose, which was always slender, had its upturned, ski-jump end removed. My upper lip was enhanced. My chin was narrowed, taken back, the angle changed, and the jaw line altered to fit. Seven hours on the operating table; not a small thing to do.

I left the clinic the day after surgery and went to a hotel, amazingly, but it was fine. As Dr NvvD said, all you need is comfort to recover, better and cheaper in a hotel. I had two days of great discomfort, but almost no pain at all, thank God. How lovely I looked; bandages over the scalp, right round the jaw, my nose in a plastic cover taped to my face, one eye closed completely and the colour of a red fruit, the other open a crack, gorgeous colours everywhere, looking like a creature from a strange part of the universe in Star Wars.

But recovery was swift. Five days after surgery I was out in the Belgian countryside with the friend who came with me – bless you Jane, where would I be without you? – and a new transsexual friend I made in the hotel, enjoying pancakes and coffee. Avoid the tea; this is not England. I had on so much covering make-up I could hardly lift my head, and there was swelling in plenty which made me look a little odd, but I made it.

Then I was back home less than a week after surgery, feeling tired and full of anaesthetic, but not too bad. No signs of surgery at all. Incisions were made behind the hairline for the forehead, inside the mouth for the chin and jaw. It was like a miracle had happened.

It took a few weeks for the whole thing to settle in properly, but it did, and now I am fine. But the test of the pudding is in the eating, and the test of FFS is not only in the looking, but in how I feel, the most important thing of all. And what I have to tell you is that I am very happy. It’s made all the difference in the world. When my friends look at me, they still see Persia. It’s not as if I have another face; what’s happened is that my own face has been softened and opened. It has been feminized. The work is subtle and very well done, integral, looking so natural that many people have no idea anything has been done at all. You are looking well, Persia, they say, not knowing what they are seeing.

The greatest effect can be seen in profile. All the prominent angles of my face have been removed. The overhanging brow, the ski-jump nose, the angular chin, all replaced with softness. I love it. I now have none of the indicators of the male on my face. I have always felt that the transsexual transition was, for me, a restoration of my own true being, and now I have even restored my own face. It is no longer the face of a brother I never had.

And I feel completely relaxed now. I am seen as a woman now, almost completely, except for on one of those bad days when nothing goes well. I am what I am, a transsexual woman, and there will always be someone somewhere who knows. But so little, so rarely that I no longer care.

The feelings of this cannot be expressed better than in the words of anon (name witheld by request), who underwent FFS at the hands of Dr. DouglasOusterhout in San Francisco, but the same is true of Dr Noorman van der Dussen, and anon expresses my own feelings with a beauty I cannot hope to match.

” When I went out before my surgery, no amount of radiated joy and peace would have kept me from being perceived oddly by some. I’m not talking about passing here, I’m talking about how, as a human being, people saw me. I want people to see *me* clearly, not through the filter of doubt about who I might be. Even as happy and upbeat as I was prior to surgery with Doug, the lines and curves in my face that didn’t belong to me abraded my confidence, were as wrong as a lock of hair that stands away from your scalp that no amount of coaxing can keep down.

I am sure that if Doug’s work did not exist, I would have made the best of it, but I suspect that as much happiness as I would have mined out of life, the difference between who I am and who my face said I was would have eaten away at me. Who knows.

Results aside, it allows me to not simply move through the world and society — the best I could hope for beforehand — but to actively embrace it, to find a peace within myself, or the possibility for it, that others see and perceive. It is a wonderful resonant cycle as the relaxed comfort in my own skin radiates from me to others, who in turn sense my centeredness and reflect happiness back at me.

It’s how I feel too. Undergoing this surgery has let me cross the line into my own womanhood in a way I could not quite manage before, no matter how well I did, how good I looked, and even then I could go to the women only sessions at the swimming pool and feel almost at ease. Now I am completely relaxed, found myself chatting to other women in the showers while we waited for one to be free the other day without me noticing what I was doing – an amazing feat of transformation when I think back to my early days.

There is a form of trasngendered political correctness in the USA these days which states that we should be accepted as we are, no matter how we are, this being our truth, this being one form of human existence the world needs to accept as another normalcy. We should be proud of who we are, no matter how we look.

Very good, but my own truth is that I am just a simple girl from Liverpool who wants to live without problem in this world; more than that, to live here with joy. I was like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz – but I wanted to come home even more than she did. And I’ve made it, I’m back in Kansas, back in Brighton actually, just living in the world but now with restored exquisite normalcy. I am a very happy and fulfilled person, and my life is opening like a flower. What I have done, despite having no money to speak of, you can do too. Go for it.

The cost of the surgery with Dr Noorman van der Dussen, by the way, came to around £6,500. Not cheap, but a bargain in British or U.S. surgical terms. About a third of the cost here, if you could find the surgeon, and I don’t think he or she exists. I had SRS in Belgium too, under the kind knife of Dr. Seghers, a complete coincidence, so I know about Belgian medicine. It’s very good indeed, recommended.

By Persia West June 2001

Gender Trust – 2003, This information sheet is distributed by the Gender Trust and is intended as a basis for information only. The Gender Trust does not accept responsibility for the accuracy of any information contained in this sheet.

 

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Transsexuals’ Children

Continuing contact between transsexual parents and their children has met with significant opposition. Two areas of concern are effects on the gender identity of the children and reactions by the children’s peer group. Eighteen children, 10 boys, 8 girls of 9 transsexual parents, have been evaluated. Their ages range from 5-16 years. All live with or have regular contact with their transsexual parent. No child has gender identity disorder. No child has had extensive conflict with the peer group. All continue positive relationships with their transsexual parent.

Introduction

In 1978 I published a paper on sexually atypical and gender atypical parents and their children (Green 1978). It described 21 children being raised by lesbian mothers and 16 by transsexual parents. Since that paper 20 years ago, none other has been published describing a series of children of transsexuals. This absence explains why that report was cited as a stand alone in the case brought by a female-to-male transsexual in his recent fight for parental status before the European Court of Human Rights (Case of X, Y and Z v United Kingdom, 1997).

Opposition is strong to a transsexual continuing in a parenting role during or after gender transition. It derives in part from concerns that the children will become confused in their own gender identity during critical years of psychosexual development. Although to those concerned about this posited impact no developmental period is safe harbour, the first handful of years are seen as exceptionally vulnerable. This is during the setting of basic gender identity and resolution of the posited Oedipal conflict. Early adolescence when sexual orientation manifests strongly, perhaps reviving earlier Oedipal conflicts, is another arguably vulnerable period. The second focus of concern impacting on the best interests of these children is the reaction of their age mates, the peer group. Will the children be teased, ostracised, bullied in consequence of their parent’s transsexualism?

But, beyond these presumably empirically testable concerns, there is more. There are the feelings of betrayal, abandonment and hostility of the non-transsexual parent. Many are so enraged at the transsexual parent that they defiantly oppose any contact with the child. As custodial parent, some non-transsexual parents instil in the child a distorted, negative image of the absent (or rarely present) transsexual parent, the Parental Alienation Syndrome (Gardner 1978). In time, the child, too, opposes continuing or renewed contact. The concern to courts here is that the conflict and trauma imposed on the child of enforcing contact with one parent when the other is implacably opposed, and perhaps the child too is opposed, is greater than terminating contact.

Are the former noted issues concerning the children’s gender identity and peer group reaction to be considered as independent of the latter consideration of uncompromising parental opposition? They should not be. To the extent research demonstrates the absence of an objective basis for concern for the child’s welfare as a direct effect of the transsexual status of one parent, the other parent’s opposition becomes increasingly irrational. It should be given less legal weight on the scales of justice in judicial determinations.

During the past four years I have interviewed transsexual parents at Charing Cross Hospital in London. Many have not seen their children for years. Several abdicated their parenting role because they feared their transsexualism would be harmful to the child, others because their former spouse had been adamantly opposed to contact and the transsexual believed that a legal fight was hopeless. There have been other families, however, where the transsexual parent has continued to live with child(ren) and spouse during the gender transition of the “Rea.l Life Test” or has maintained frequent parenting contact, though living apart. An outline of these children is drawn here.

There are 18 children. They are from 9 families, with 10 children boys and 8 girls. Six transsexual parents are male-to-female, three are female-to-male. The children’s age range is 5-16 years, with 4 ages 5-7, 6 ages 8-10, 4 ages 11-13 and 4 ages 14-16. The frequency distribution is shown in Table l.

Areas of focus in interviewing these children and parents have been the two typically cited as potentially problematic for the children: their own gender identity and peer group stigma.

Gender Identity

None of the children meet the DSM IV or ICD 10 criteria for “gender identity disorder”. One boy and one girl had thoughts about changing sex briefly when informed of the transsexualism of the parent, but the curiosity did not evolve into a desire to change sex and the curiosity did not continue. No clinically significant cross-gender behaviour is reported.

Peer Group

Three children have been selective in informing peers of the transsexual status of their parent. They informed those whom they thought they could trust with the information and who would not tease or spread it indiscriminately. Three children experienced some teasing; it was transient and resolved. The remainder report no problems.

Understanding the Parent

Three children do not remember their parent in the parent’s birth sex. The others became aware of the transsexual status 1-3 years before my interview. The children have a reasonable understanding of the parent’s gender dysphoria and the treatment process. Some examples of their perceptions of their parents follow:-

Seven year old boy with male-to-female transsexual parent (father):

“Linda. wants to be a woman. Linda wants to start a fresh life. She likes living as a woman. I think that is happy for her. At first (when I was 4’/2) I didn’t quite understand. As I got older, I realized she must be happy living as a woman, so I’ll just accept that.”

Does Linda have a penis?

“She is going to have it taken off.”

What is your worry?

“The thing I worry about is if he gets injections that the wrong amount would be given and something would go wrong… Is there a chance he could die in the operation?”

Nine year old boy with female-to-male transsexual parent (mother):

“She will change into a man with plastic surgery.”

Why?

“My dad (biological mother) reckons that God had made a mistake when he was born.”

Seven year old girl with male-to-female transsexual parent (father):

Why does your daddy dress as a lady?

“It’s a better life.”

Sixteen year oId boy with female-to-male transsezual parent (mother):

“Jim is a bloke. The only thing missing is a dick.”

Ten year old boy with male-to-female transsexual parent (father):

How do you feel about it?

“It’s alright.”

Why is your daddy doing this?

“He does not like being a man.”

Eleven year old sister:

“My dad’s having a sex change. He is turning into a woman.

Why?

“He feels like a woman”

How do you feel about it?

“I feel OK about it.”

Fourteen year old daughter with female-to-male transsexual parent (mother):

“My Mother’s not happy in the body she is in. My mom is a lot happier since starting to live as who she wants to be. When I was 13, my mother said, ‘I want to be a man, do you care?’

I said, no, as long a you are the same person inside and still love me. I don’t care what you are on the outside… It’s like a chocolate bar, It’s got a new wrapper but it’s the same chocolate inside.”

Ten year old brother:

“Jim (mother) is my dad because he is having a sex change. It’s alright with me. If it makes Jim happy, it makes me happy.”

Conclusion

Available evidence does not support concerns that a parent’s transsexualism directly adversely impacts on the children. By contrast, there is extensive clinical experience showing the detriment to children in consequence of terminated contact with a parent after divorce.

Can anything be done to help maintain these families? Courts can be educated regarding clinical or research findings. Transsexual parents may profit from engaging with children in counselling sessions in anticipation of, or during, the gender transition process where concerns and questions can be addressed. Marital counselling early in the transition process could mitigate the hostility of the non-transsexual parent. Hopefully, the non-transsexual parent’s feelings of disappointment, loss and perhaps anger can be placed in perspective to the benefit children derive from contact with two parents. Children can also benefit from counselling, when troubled, after parent sex reassignment (Sales, 1995)

The cases described here and twenty years earlier demonstrate that transsexual parents can remain effective parents and that children can understand and empathise with their transsexual parent. The cases demonstrate that gender identity confusion does not occur and that any teasing is no more a problem than the teasing children get for a myriad of reasons.

Children’s best interests are not served by the bullying tactic of implacable parental opposition by one parent to continuing contact with both parents. Divorce may be inevitable between parent and parent, but divorce need not be inevitable between parent and child.

References

Case of X, Y and Z v United Kingdom (75/1995/581/667), European Court of Human Rights, Strasbourg, 1997.

Gardner, R (1998). The Parental Alienation Syndrome, Second Edition. Cresskill, New Jersey, Creative Therapeutics.

Green,R (1978). Sexual identity of thirty-seven children raised by homosexual or transsexual parents. American Journal of Psychiatry 135: 692-697.

Sales, J. (1995). Children of a transsexual father: a successful intervention. European Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 4:136-139.

Table 1

Transsexual Type | Number of Sons | Ages | Number of Daughters | Ages

M-F | 1 | 7 | – | –

F-M | 1 | 16 | 2 | 14, 12

M-F | – | – | 2 | 5, 7

M-F | 1 | 10 | 1 | 12

F-M | 2 | 8, 10 | – | –

F-M | 1 | 10 | 1 | 14

M-F | 2 | 9, 12 | – | –

M-F | 2 | 10, 13 | 1 | 16

M-F | – | – | 1 | 5

A Research Paper by Professor Richard Green

Gender Trust – 2003, This information sheet is distributed by the Gender Trust and is intended as a basis for information only. The Gender Trust does not accept responsibility for the accuracy of any information contained in this sheet.

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Rich Man, Poor Man, Transsexual Woman

Summer 1955 and this child’s fate has already been determined by nature.

A child giggles whilst drinking the bath water from an egg cup. It is 1955 and not long since the national press have reported the story of a Spitfire pilot and racing driver who has “become” a woman through what we now call Gender Reassignment Treatment.

The child’s parents have registered and christened her as a boy. How is anyone to know any different? Within three years “he” will know otherwise though … and the little girl inside will have learned enough about life already not to mention her profound self knowledge to anyone.

In years to come she will learn that people who seek the treatment to release them from this silent hell are labelled as freaks and get hounded by the press. They are shunned by their families and friends. They are treated with less respect than murderers and rapists. Anything they receive from medical specialists or authority is to be regarded as a grudging and contemptuous concession which they don’t really deserve. Not surprisingly, she will seek to bury her terrifying self knowledge deep within herself.

As enlightenment gradually dawns on society, sometime in her thirties, she will wince though when she sees women like her described as having been “born a man”.

A man? Look again at the photograph. You could no more call the child a “man”, than you could label them a “Computer Consultant”, “Conservative” or “Rights Campaigner”. Yet all of these labels are a part of her development potential, just as her innate femininity means she will not rest until she finds her true self-expression within society.

So, eventually, she will come to the agonising choice which confronts all transsexual people in the end … made worse for having deferred it until mid life. She will have to decide how to deal with the partner and family she acquired whilst trying to be what everyone expected of her. She will have to put her career on the line. She will lose her home and tens of thousands of pounds through divorce. She will lose some of her friends. For a while she will wonder if she deserves to keep her own self respect. Yet the choice is between that and suicide. For a life which is a perpetual lie … a life which gets more painful with every passing day of the soul’s denial … is no life at all.

Make believe? No. Increasing research evidence indicates that everything which transsexual people have ever reported about their mysterious juxtaposition of psychological gender and physical sex is true. The more science is inclined to look, the more it finds to substantiate the discovery that children like the little “boy” in the picture above really did already have the brain of a little girl.

Nobody can be blamed for assuming this little girl was a boy. If we have to have a basis for distinguishing how we’re going to differentiate the type of upbringing we’re to give our children then the appearance of their genitals is no more and no less arbitrary than the colour of their skin or the country they were born in. What matters, however, is how we respond when the child is old enough to turn round and say that we got it wrong in their case.

It helps, of course, to be sophisticated enough to be able to accept such an assertion with the respect it deserves. If society attaches such importance to gender then it’s hardly a trivial thing when you know you’ve been dragooned into the wrong one. Transsexuals need help, not hindrance, if they are to manage a transition which affects every single way in which they relate to the world around them.

More than that, however, a compassionate and sensible society will recognise that once such a change has occurred then there is absolutely no benefit to anyone in making it anything less than a 100% change. Society only has two social genders to choose from. Man and Woman. To cripple a man with a legal status which regards him as a woman, or to say that a woman cannot marry a man because of her long-since-removed birth deformity is to erect a deliberate barrier to the otherwise successful functioning of that individual. It is, in short, like breaking a man’s leg because you don’t want to accept that he can walk.

And that is all that we in Press for Change seek from British society. The right to walk. To stand on our own two feet after being forced to crawl for almost thirty years. It’s not a lot, is it?

This information sheet is compiled from an article by Press for Change, the organisation which campaigns for rights for transsexual people. To find out more about Press For Change visit their website at pfc.org.uk or write to them at:- Press For Change, BM Network, London WC1N 3XX

By Christine Burns, April 1997

Gender Trust – 2003, This information sheet is distributed by the Gender Trust and is intended as a basis for information only. The Gender Trust does not accept responsibility for the accuracy of any information contained in this sheet.

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Intersex Conditions

According to Prof. John Money, who has carried out extensive work within the field of gender identity, as many as four per cent of people are born with neither a clear male nor a clear female identity. This would mean around two and a quarter million people in Britain may be living with some form of intersex condition. Of these, many may suffer no discomfort or distress, they may not even be aware that medically they are classified as intersex. For others the condition produces profound symptoms at many levels.

Diagnosis of intersex is based mainly on physical observation, where biological and structural differences within the body are seen to vary from the accepted model for male or female. This is in contrast to transsexualism, which largely concerns brain sex because the brain perceives the individual’s gender identity to be the opposite of their physical appearance. At birth the first classification of a new human being is usually ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ according to the genitals. There are in fact four ways of recognising a baby’s sex, these are: genetic sex, biological sex according to internal organs, biological sex according to external sex organs, and brain sex. Where there is no obvious abnormality of the external sex organs the baby will be registered accordingly and its social conditioning into the relevant gender role immediately begins. In a small percentage of people, however, the external genitals may be ambiguous at birth, so no clear assessment of male or female is possible, or hidden conditions may come to light in the course of the child’s development.

The sex of a baby is established early in pregnancy and depends on which chromosome pair exists within the developing foetus. A foetus bearing an XY chromosome pair develops as male while the XX chromosome pair will develop a female. It is the Y chromosome that stimulates development of male testes and regression of female ovaries, and where this Y chromosome is absent the female system continues to develop unimpeded. However, other chromosome combinations are possible, leading to development which may produce an intersex state to a greater or lesser degree. The most commonly seen are Turner’s Syndrome (XO), Klinefelter’s Syndrome (XXY or XXXY) and combinations such as XXX (super female) or XYY (super male). Wherever there is a Y in the combination it is likely the foetus will develop along male lines, although exposure to hormones is also a crucial factor in sex development. Over or under exposure in the womb to male or female hormones may lead to a physical appearance at birth which does not match the chromosomal make up and/or brain identity. When considering the extremely complex cocktail of factors which must combine correctly to produce a clear and undisputed identity of male or female, it becomes easier to understand how the balance may be disturbed during foetal development producing intersex conditions. Gender dysphoria, the sense of dissatisfaction experienced when brain and body identity do not match, can begin in early childhood, while for some intersex children the confusion does not begin until their condition starts to reveal itself at puberty. It can be alarming for a boy to suddenly begin developing breasts, or for a girl to find testes descend from her body or a beard growing on her face. Nor is society always kind to such children. Family, friends and even the medical profession may fail them, leading to unhappy and sometimes tragic consequences.

Hermaphroditism and Intersexuality

Cases of a true hermaphrodite, someone with both sets of genitals formed and functioning, are considered to be extremely rare. Because both male and female genitalia develop from a common source, it would not be possible for an individual to have two ovaries and two testes, but it may be possible for one ovary and one testicle to develop. More common would be a case where both male and female genitalia are present but one or both are not fully formed. Such a case may be referred to as intersex, as the two terms are frequently synonymous. The genitals may resemble those of a female with a large clitoris and the labia fused together, or they may look more like those of a male with a small penis and empty scrotum. Severe cases may be obvious at birth where the baby is said to have ambiguous genitalia and surgery may be carried out so that the child can be assigned to either the male or female gender. In some cases the child is not told about this and there are stories of people who suffer extreme distress on discovering the truth in later life. Even where surgery has created a passable exterior presentation, function may be limited with ‘girls’ failing to menstruate or become fertile and ‘boys’ unable to produce an erection or father children. It may only be when the person visits the doctor for investigation into problems such as these that the underlying condition comes light. Where surgery is carried out soon after birth, it is too early to recognise the brain sex of the individual. Further problems may arise later in life if the child has been assigned one sex but proves to have the gender identity of the opposite sex, they may experience degrees of gender dysphoria similar to that found in transsexuality, alternatively, they may be happy with their sex or rearing but dissatisfied because their physical body does not conform to accepted norms of being completely male or female.

Klinefelter’s Syndrome

In these cases the chromosome mosaic is XXY or XXXY. A baby will often be classified as male at birth, and there may be no unusual signs until puberty. It is believed to be present in about 1 in 1000 male births, but there are wide variations in intensity of symptoms and degree of ambiguity. Men with Klinefelter’s may have small testes, or they may be normal in size but produce lower than average qualities of testosterone. At puberty therefore strong secondary male characteristics may fail to develop, some boys will develop breasts, and in some cases there may be a distinct hermaphrodite structure with womb and ovaries. Most Klinefelter’s people will show common distinguishing features to a greater or lesser degree. These include being tall, a tendency to obesity, rounded shoulders, soft skin and face, a soft voice, no adams apple and possibly breasts. There may be low testosterone production and some oestrogen production as well. Individuals may suffer from some mental retardation or could show super intelligence. Depending on the degree of symptoms, and the presence and intensity of gender dysphoria or social discomfort, the Klinefelter’s person may choose medical treatment, including surgery, to identify more fully with one gender role, or may develop a dual gender lifestyle.

Turner’s Syndrome

In these cases the chromosome mosaic is X, with the second X missing and children are usually classified as female. It is believed to affect around 1 in 10,000 girl births. The external genitalia usually appear normal and the brain sex is female, but the ovaries do not develop leading to infertility and low hormone production. There is a strong possibility of mental retardation.

Testicular Feminisation

Some babies who are genetically male with an XY chromosome while in the womb do not produce male hormones, especially testosterone, in sufficient quantities to develop male external sex organs. Alternatively they may produce testosterone but it is not recognised by the body and so does not trigger off such development. This condition is believed to occur in 1 in 50,000 births. Because of the female appearance at birth they are likely to be registered and raised as female, only when they fail to menstruate at puberty might their true genetic makeup be discovered. Although legally female, a ‘girl’ with this syndrome may develop secondary male characteristics such as a deep voice.

Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia

These are genetically female with an XX chromosome but the adrenal glands produce large amounts of hormones similar to testosterone. It is believed to occur in around 1 in 80,000 births. At birth the genitalia may appear male or ambiguous, although the person usually possesses ovaries. There may also be metabolic imbalances, and this may lead to early diagnosis of the condition.

Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome

This condition can occur spontaneously, but is usually an inherited genetic condition that tends to run in families. The AIS person has the male XY chromosome and produces hormones which inhibit development of interior female organs such as uterus and cervix. However due to failure to respond to testosterone the baby does not develop male genitals and at birth will appear female. Although they may develop breasts at puberty the vagina is small or absent and they do not menstruate. They are also unlikely to develop much body hair. Where the syndrome is diagnosed, undescended testes may be surgically removed due to risk of cancer, and vaginoplasty can be performed in some cases to lengthen the vagina.

There are two types of AIS: most (90%) of girls have external genitals that are completely female (but with no internal female organs) and this is known as Complete AIS (CAIS, technically AIS Grades 7 & 6). The remaining girls have Partial AIS (PAIS), their outward genital appearance may lie anywhere from almost completely female (AIS Grade 5) through to almost completely male (Grade 3).

In partial AIS the person may have the appearance of normal male genitalia but be infertile However most PAIS and all CAIS babies are reared as female for the following reasons: they will be infertile as males; they will have a female type puberty; they will not be able to function sexually as a man but they will be able to do so as a woman. However, there are cases where some PAIS persons raised as boys change over to being female in later life. (see the AIS group website as listed below).

Cloecal Extrophy

This is an extremely rare genetic disorder where it is impossible to determine the sex of the baby at birth. There may be no sign of any sex organs, or only small and undeveloped parts, the person will be unable to have children and may need to take hormone supplements throughout their life. Surgery may be carried out to assist the person to live a normal life. This condition was highlighted in the UK in the case of Joella who was initially registered as male but at 16 months was reassigned as female following surgery. Joella’s mother fought a highly publicised battle to change her child’s birth certificate.

Hypospadias

This condition is found in males where the penis is not formed correctly. The urethra does not run to the tip of the penis but exits along the underside. The degree of displacement can vary, and the condition is usually corrected with surgery in uncomplicated cases. Hypospadias may be present in certain intersex conditions or may be the only abnormality present.

Gender Trust – 2003, This information sheet is distributed by the Gender Trust and is intended as a basis for information only. The Gender Trust does not accept responsibility for the accuracy of any information contained in this sheet.

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To Be Transsexual

What it feels like to be a Male-To-Female Transsexual, Before, during, and after transition. How it touches the soul, and How it affected my life.

Initially, the trouble with my body being the wrong sex was just…troubling. My mother told me stories, before she died, of the difficulties toilet training me, of getting me to deal with plumbing I felt unhappy with. I remember how kindergarten gave me my first taste of the shame I would be indoctrinated with over my life, of ridicule by adults and my peers. Back then, in early childhood, I knew something was wrong, it caused me embarrassment and a little shame, but I always felt that it would work out, if I just hoped and prayed hard enough.

From the earliest I felt different, because I was not like those I was supposed to be kin to, boys. I was quiet and gentle and they were rough and loud. I liked to draw and read, to paint and play with stuffed animals making little homes for them and myself, I did not fit in with my supposed peers. I felt outcast even in kindergarten, and I had a difficult time understanding fully just why.

Girls would often not include me, which I also did not understand, so the best definition of what it felt like for me to be a transsexual child would be Outcast and Confused.

As I approached puberty, the exclusion from both boys and girls increased, as each had reasons for avoiding the shy strange child I was. To boys I was weird because I liked girlish things, and to girls I was icky because I was supposed to be a boy. When they did include me, they wanted me to play the role of ‘daddy’ or ‘boyfriend’ or other such role, and I would only be willing to play ‘mommy’ or my usual, the ‘baby’ in games of playing house. In every activity my gender dilemma affected me. If I wanted to twirl on the monkey bars I was ridiculed because only girls did that, and my stuffed animals were taken away by my vile father, fearful of my love for them.

Eventually, I had to find a way to avoid persecution, for my difference increasingly resulted in physical abuse from the boys. I was threatened and beaten, called a fag and a queer, and constantly humiliated. I found an answer in Science Fiction, and my substitute dolls were little soft rubber monsters for which I would build not houses, but elaborate spacecraft. Science was just cool enough to be barely acceptable, and sometimes I could avoid persecution under the disguise of being an expectedly odd ‘Brain’. I used my intellect carefully to make myself fit that role as best I could, but I never was able to find real safety. My home-built starships had all the amenities, such as domed gardens and bathrooms, and I imagined elaborate relationships for my little toy friends. The boys that would play with me wanted to create adventures of conflict, but my stories always had my little monsters visiting peaceful worlds filled with gentle creatures who just wanted to be friends. The girls that would play with me sometimes let me play with their dolls, but then would ridicule me for it later.

The feelings of being a prepubescent transsexual might best be summarized by Hiding, Substitution, and the pain of Physical Abuse.

By puberty, I knew shame very well indeed, and feared the names and violence applied to me. Increasingly I tried to deny my true self, and felt that my gender identity was something to be disgusted about. Puberty brought a rush of sexual tension, and with it the most awful horror…sexuality.

The awful incorrectness of my body now seemed to have a will and mind of it’s own, and I felt devoured and possessed as if by some alien bodysnatching spore. I withdrew into the back of my own mind, and for the next decade and then some, would feel as if I were in the back row of a dark empty theater, watching helplessly as my life was lived by another.

Male hormones were like a poison and a terrible drug to me, they brought madness and sickness. I felt terrible all the time, poisoned by sweating, nervous twisted lust. The hormones made sexual feelings flood my mind, I could think of little else. I masturbated like a monkey in a cage, constantly, loathing the act but tortured by the uncontrollable drive. I felt like my constant nightmares, of being trapped in the backseat of a car, rolling to doom, down a steep hill.

The feeling of being a puberty stricken transsexual was for me the feeling of being possessed by a demon, the feeling of being out of control, with the only help in withdrawal deep within my own mind. It felt like I was being raped by my own flesh, turned against me and possessed by an alien will.

The agony of this drove me to near madness. My mind did it’s best to survive, and split into two separate awareness. One awareness became a day-to-day attempt to fit in, to be what the world expected, and this version of me had little conscious acknowledgment of my gender problem. All it knew was that I was miserable, sick to die.

The other half of my consciousness became dominant only when it was safe, it waited to become me when ever the opportunity to be alone arose.
Alone, my true self leapt panting into full consciousness, desperate to seize a moment to be itself. It was inevitable that my dressing up in my mothers things would become tarnished by that dreadful sex drive that owned my body utterly, and the endless masturbation became entwined with dressing as a woman, at least for a while.

Nearing my 20’s I had begun to finally have some slight control over the impulses that rode me, and once again became able to separate dressing from the need for sexual release. I could once again simply enjoy, for however brief a time, feeling somewhat close to being my true self. One fine night I simply sat in a rocking chair in my favorite nightgown and watched the rain, a blessed eternal time of utter, peaceful contentment.

Then as soon as the moment was no longer safe, as soon as discovery became imminent, my mind slammed down the steel shutters, and I literally had no memory of what I had just been doing.

This schizoid defense mechanism is the closest I ever hope to be to true madness. I comprehend that it was the way my mind found to survive an unendurable agony, but it was a frightening and disturbing guard.

No sane human wants to be utterly alone, and I still had some shed of sanity left. Of the lovers I had at that time, all were female, and I did my best to fill the role expected of me…but it was very difficult. My sex drive found release, at first, but what I most deeply wanted was an eternal, committed relationship, something few other 18 year olds of my time seemed to want. In coping with the sex I was driven to engage in, the only way I could deal with the soul-rending horror of using those accursed organs I possessed was to distance my self increasingly from the act. Eventually I was all machine inside, carefully memorizing and calculating the exact behaviors that would please my partner, with no thought of what was happening for my own lizard brain. If my partner was satisfied, perhaps they would like me and stay with me forever. It was a reasoned transaction. It became like playing a video game or pinball, as I used intellectual techniques and trained motor control to rack up a performance score measured in orgasms per hour on the fleshy console I played. Of course this kind of distancing cannot last without self destruction, and soon I was incapable of ‘performing’ -for that was indeed what it was- any more. Impotence was a relief, for it spared me from this special hell of squirming wetness and reptilian compulsion. To this day, because of this agony, sex is all but anathema to me, and I am essentially asexual. Being sexual at all brings back some of the awfulness of those days, and flashback shrieking horrors in my soul, but happily, I now possess almost no sex drive at all. This is a magnificent benefit to my comfort, but frustrating upon occasion for my spouses. I do not know if I will ever be able to feel good about sex. It hurts so much less -and feels so wonderful- to be an angel. It seems that being innocent and childlike is my safety and my salvation.

The feeling of young adulthood as a transsexual was for me best described by Schizoid Denial and Crumbling Survival.

When I finally had my catharsis, and awakened, when the cleft halves of my split mind rejoined, when the pain finally brought me to the point of facing my self or welcoming death by my own hand, I knew Purpose.

Fully, consciously aware of my lifelong torture, armed with a definition of my condition, and clear on what I must do to save my own life, I began a Holy Quest to redress the unendurable fault of my birth.

Transition was enormous pain, and required every ounce of will and strength I possessed merely to continue one day to the next. All about me was hostility, and the loss of friends and family. My sadness was oceanic. Even so, I have never felt more alive, for I was facing life and death square on, for a Holy Purpose, and driven by that Purpose I felt invincible!

As my flesh, under the gentle but powerful magic of female hormones, began to change, as my sex drive fell away and the driving demon that possessed me was exorcised, I began to feel light as air. Sylphlike, I floated on wings of hope, and knew peace in my body, my mind and my soul. Oh, the difference! Where male hormones made me feel poisoned and sick to die, driven by sweaty-dark aggression, female hormones made me feel innocent and pure, filled with light and gentle contentment. I felt cherubic and new born, and I knew in a matter of weeks that my choice was correct.

It felt so wonderful to shapeshift ! Every day held promise, for I enjoyed a second childhood of soft growing wonder. I saw my hands soften and become delicate again, a sight lost to puberty. I itched sweetly inside my growing bosom, and the sea of life within my body altered it’s flow to fit the contours of my soul. I was no longer in the back of the dark theater of my perception, I was outside that metaphoric theater altogether, living life fully, as I do to this day. I knew constant hope, and the exquisite pleasure of being resculpted by the very Nature who once betrayed me. The Mother was repairing Her mistake.

Only this boundless joy and ecstasy could have permitted me to survive the misery I endured at the hands of the cruel humans around me. The stuff of ridicule, there were many days I could not face the grocery store and went hungry, because the taunting and insults of the clerks were too much to bear.

The feeling of transition was Absolute Heaven, and Deepest Hell. It was miracle and curse, release and damnation both. But I have never before or since, felt more truly alive. It was Real Magick, the stuff of dreams made solid.

Surgery was almost anticlimactic, at the same time as being utterly terrifying and hideously painful. I knew I could die from it, and for the first time in my life, I had something to live for. But I also knew I could not endure to live with those horrid organs. I loathed them, how they looked, how the worked, what they felt like. It was like having some decaying parasitic worm hanging off of my body, or a tumor that had distended to freakshow proportions.

After my surgery, after the bloody mess had healed and the stitches removed, after the Frankenstein reconstruction had finally become Human, I marveled.

I finally felt….right. Correct. Oddest of all, I felt exactly the way that I imagined that I would feel before surgery. How could I possibly know what having a vagina, labia, clitoris, -even a ‘pseudo cervix’ would feel? Yet I had, long before these things were my body, in my dreams.

Science tells us that there is a map in the circuitry of the brain of the layout of our bodies, and children born without limbs suffer phantom limb syndrome though they have never known the missing limbs, my explanation is that my ‘body map’ was female, and the cause of my desperate need for surgery. Things felt wrong because my wiring told me clearly what I should be shaped like. Now that I am, the conflict is gone, and my suffering for missing organs is absent. I possess the contours and organs that fit my internal ‘map’, and so I feel…..all right.

So the feeling of surgical correction is…normality. Finally feeling free from internal and external conflict. It just…finally….is OK.

Now, 16 years after surgery, I live my life pretty much without much thought to gender dilemma. I am fixed, I am repaired. But I will never be utterly without this difference. Unlike most women, I suspect, I cannot help but occasionally hug my own breasts, feel the delicate flower of my labia, or the softness of my skin, and whisper a heartfelt prayer of thanks for the gift of finally being me. I can never take these things for granted, they are happy birthday presents forever, reminders that I lived a miracle.

And because I have lived such an adventure, I am forever set apart. I cannot simply be an ordinary woman, because I have not lived an ordinary woman’s life. The mindless chit-chat of either the average woman, or the average man, bores me to tears, and so in a way, I am still apart, alien on the inside. And so many life experiences I cannot join in to discuss, like menstruation, or dating, or Girl Scouts, or the myriad trials of growing up as a girl. I have known all of the discriminations and limitations of being a female…and then some, for I was treated as a freak before my attainment of womanhood…but few of the joys. I can not relate to the childhood of a boy either, for I did not have one, so I have so many things -not- to say.

This difference does haunt me, and in my years of hiding until this site on the internet, I felt the most disturbing muteness, the fear of discovery, that anyone should know my shameful past. This is why I have decided to come Out, because even if my body is at last corrected, I have been altered in my soul and mind by the journey to achieve it.

So the feeling of being a post-op transsexual is for me the comfort of happy correctness mixed with the bitterness of forever lost girlhood, and the joy of remembering that I am a miracle, a shapeshifter incarnate, and that I have lived an adventure. I am at once Normalized and Alienated, Wistful and Joyful together.

This is what it feels like, at least for me.

transsexual.org/Feels.html – 2002

Posted on by Queer News

Dating for Male-To-Female Transsexuals

1. If you date men, you are always in potentially fatal danger. Be aware.

2. Make certain, before you even consider a date, that your partner is FULLY aware of your status and is not significantly bothered by it. Never date anyone who does not know about you.

3. Be aware that in our society, men who are secure enough to accept you are rare. there are predators who attack transsexuals, confused sorts who seek to use and then punish transsexuals, and those who try to be accepting but fail, often violently.

4. Be honest, be aware, and be very, very cautious.

5. Some men may only like you because of your transsexuality, and may find you uninteresting post-operatively. Be sure of the attractions that occur.

6. It is not all dark, but you will have to search more carefully, and be more aware, than nontranssexual women. Even with all the above, know that it is possible to find caring partners and loving friends.

The reasons

Dating both pre, and even post-op, involves concerns that nontranssexual folk do not have to concern themselves with. Some of these issues are serious.
Most, if not all of the dangerous issues revolve around sexual and gender insecurities. These insecurities are not dangerous in the transsexual, they are very dangerous in nontranssexuals.

Our culture still has a lot of bigotry and mindless hatred in it, and much of this evil comes from religious origins.

Homosexuality and Gender Threat

Early Christianity, Judaism, and to a lesser degree, Islam, became dominant in the western world by virtue of being warfare based religions. The universe was spiritually divided into an Absolute Good, and and Absolute Evil, and the basic premise was that the Good and True believers in the faith had to overcome everyone and everything else. To accomplish this, two things had to be done: one, the group, tribe, and religion had to concern itself with converting by any means possible other groups, and two, it had to become as populous as possible.
This last requirement is the basic reason behind homosexuality being made into a crime and an Evil. More babies means more tribe members. More tribe members means more ability to conquer and convert. Homosexuality produces fewer babies than heterosexuality. It cannot be tolerated by a belief system bent on domination.

You may be a woman, but be you pre-op or post-op, the social stigma of ever possessing a penis is there. If you date a man, those old Judeo-Christian issues in our western society kick in, and problems can occur. Sometimes these problems can be fatal.

Transsexuals and the Foundations of Assumed Truth

Transsexuals, by their existence, threaten basic assumptions and truths about gender and religion. The ‘Evil’ of homosexuality is shown to be the violent nonsense it is when the transsexual enters into the equation. Am I, a post-op, a woman? A surgically altered man? Something outside the scope of current belief and understanding?
As for the pre-op transsexual, then all possibility of a clear answer becomes lost. Is a pre-op a woman, a man, a woman in some ways, a man in others? To the average, simple mind, the result is paradox, confusion, and the destruction of neat, tidy categories and labels. It is hard to believe in religious prohibitions when reality itself shows the limits of them. If the word of god is so limited, so meaningless, the universe itself becomes upset for some folks. They find themselves adrift, without answers, forced to think, perhaps for the very first time. They begin to question themselves and their place in the universe, they are filled with nagging doubts.

Scared, confused people can be very dangerous. They can become violent, they can kill.

Far too many transsexuals have been murdered by men that just could not handle the issues they were forced to confront, the doubt they felt, the insecurity they suffered, or the ‘Truth’ that came tumbling down.

Sometimes the conflict is so severe, that men become convinced that the only way to restore their lost faith is to destroy that which caused it to be questioned. Such men deliberately seek out transsexuals to punish, humiliate, control, or harm them.

These same issues can also lead to other reactions besides murder. Some people are attracted to the forbidden and the rejected, and find it exciting. Such folks will find you desirable only as long as you fit this category.

Other folks try very hard to accept the transsexual, but fail at the task, because the conflict between what they were raised to believe, and what they want to be accepting about, is too much. In the end, sometimes the original ‘Truth’ wins out, especially because society supports it.

In all cases, the root cause of this nastiness is fear and instilled hatred of homosexuality, and this comes from only one place, religion. It is pervasive in our culture, because our culture is steeped in Judeo-Christian values and beliefs.

The Game Of ‘What Am I ?’

If you are a Male-To-Female transsexual and you are attracted to men, then what is really going on? Are you gay or straight or what? The answer depends on how one chooses to look at the transsexual.
If what matters is identity, is the mind and the heart, then you are a heterosexual woman with very standard desires.

If all that matters is the birth shape of the skin, in the past, present ot future, then you are an altered gay man experiencing homosexual desires.

If all that matters is the current cut of the skin, then a pre-op is a gay man and a post-op is a straight woman.

If the transsexual is considered a unique creature, a ‘third sex’, then all definitions become moot…perhaps being some shade of bisexual might come closest.

The problem is that, however you may define yourself, others will create definitions of their own over which you have little or no control.

What you must do is to be conscious of this, and determine what you want, and what you are willing to do, accept and teach, to get what you want. You must also be aware of the very real dangers involved.

It is not fair that this should be so. It is not fair that transsexuals should be forced to be so cautious, so concerned with safety, so endangered. It is not fair that religious dogma should brand transsexuals and homosexuals both as evil or as misguided, or even simply as distasteful.

But it is real, and you have to deal with that, or possibly die.

On the positive side, however, real, decent relationships are not impossible. They can and do occur, because there are men out there who can sort themselves out, and get past this inculcated bigotry or fear.
I know of such relationships personally, and am even involved in one: in my polyamory, or group marriage, one of my spouses is male. But it does take a little more effort and searching than the nontranssexual woman must face.

Selectively Out

All of this does not mean that the transsexual must wear their transsexual status as a badge, or be out to everyone, everywhere.
The key is to be selectively ‘Out’, to carefully choose who to tell and when and why. This is something the individual transsexual must be in control of, if at all possible.

Each circumstance must be evaluated on it’s own merits, but there is a general rule of thumb to follow:

Tell men up front, as early as possible

Why? because 93.7 percent of all violent crime, on the planet earth, is committed by men. Women just do not commit violent crimes even faintly as often. Women do not rape, murder, kill for hate, fag bash, mutilate, dismember, shoot, eviscerate, disembowel or torture unto death nearly as often as men do.

I will not bother with a discussion of the possible reasons for this, suffice to say that in the debate all sides are correct: the reasons are cultural, biological, genetic, and social all at the same time. Why this is true is not important.

What is important is that it is true, across the globe, in every society, everywhere. Even if violence is all but nonexistent, what violence there is will follow this statistic. Learn the one thing all women must:

Be afraid of men.

Nontranssexual women learn this from an early age. 3 out of 4 women learn it the hard way, in America, at some point in their lives. When you live as a woman, love as a woman, exist as a woman, you automatically are the heir to the perils of being a woman. To think yourself immune or to fail to be aware of this, is suicide.
Even more extreme, the status of being transsexual, even post-op, put one at a greater risk than that of nontranssexual woman.

Save your own life. Be up front, be ‘Out’ to any prospective male date.

Different For Women

This article is concerned with MTF transsexual woman who wish to date men, primarily because this is the group in serious statistical peril. Why not an article about the issues of dating as a lesbian?

Perhaps in time, but in general, the issues there are more about rejection and social bigotry, rather than physical violence and death or dismemberment. Your author identifies as being primarily lesbian, or if you prefer, a ‘polarized bisexual’: dedicated to reducing reflected glare off of sexual surfaces.

Although this may be a terribly politically incorrect thing to say, because of the vastly smaller risk of getting dead or mutilated, it is reasonably safe to date with women without outing ones self, until the relationship reaches the point of sexual involvement.

Because one is less likely to be killed, one can hope to become close friends first, before revealing the Big Secret, if one is living in secrecy of any degree.

The value of doing this is simple: it increases slightly the odds of being considered a human being, and therefore also increases the possibility of not being immediately dismissed out of bigotry, political dogma, ignorance, or blind, mindless hatred.

Because women are less likely to disembowel you for being a transsexual, you have a chance to escape having to suffer outing yourself immediately.

You have a chance to be seen, for a while at least, as something other than a politically unacceptable Frankenstein monster.

This may be enough time to cut through the bigotry and be truly seen.

Conclusions

The content of this article sounds quite frightening, and this is not without some rationality. However, there is also a danger in becoming paralyzed by fear or concern. That danger is loneliness.
What I suggest that you do is to be aware of the dangers and issues, but also realize that they are indicative of probabilities. It is very possible for you to find joy and and love, it is just my intent that you live long enough to find them.

Be smarter than those who would harm you, and you have the edge. Be aware of the very real dangers, and select carefully, mindful of your own precious safety.

The concerns for the MTF transsexual woman are a bit more severe than for the nontranssexual woman, but not insurmountable.

Keep your wits sharp and be careful out there.

transsexual.org/dating1.html – 2002

Posted on by Queer News

Reasons To Cherish Being Transsexual

Because being transsexual is often so hurtful, so filled with sadness and longing, with shame and loss and difficulty, it is easy to come to the conclusion that the whole thing is utterly a curse, perhaps inflicted by arcane and evil ancient gods.

Oh, probably.

But there is an upside too.

Most human lives are utterly mundane, devoid of any real uniqueness, the average person somnambulates through an existence devoted to filling the roles expected of them.

But to be a transsexual is a magical, wondrous thing.

Consider. We are given many gifts in compensation for the terrible loss of our childhood as ourselves, and for the pain we endure. We are by some as yet unknown mechanism statistically far more intelligent, as a class, than perhaps any other kind of people. We are almost universally more creative, and we often possess incredible levels of courage and self determination, demonstrated by our very survival, and ultimate attainment of our goal. We are rare as miracles, and in our own way, as magical, or so has been the belief of all ancient cultures on the earth.

We are given awareness that others would never experience, understanding of gender, of the human condition, of society and the roles and hidden rules unquestioned within it. We are given a window into the lives of both sexes, and cannot help but be, to some degree, beyond either. From this we have a rare opportunity: to choose our own life, outside predetermined and unquestioned definition or role. We can do new things, original things, only because our experience is so unique.

We get to be true shapeshifters, and experience the sheer wonder of melty-wax flesh and a real rebirth into the world. Our brains and bodies gain benefit from having been bathed in and altered by the hormones of both sexes. We appear to retain our visible youthfulness where others wrinkle, and for years longer. We possess neural advantages from both sexes, such as the language advantages of the feminized brain, and the spatial abilities of the masculinized brain both. We are shocked into waking up, if we allow it, to a life we create for ourselves…we are not automatically doomed to sleepwalk through life.

After our transformations, after the full-moon lycanthropic miracle that the modern age affords us, we can live lives of success and love, and genuine specialness, if we choose. If we can get past our upbringing, past the programming, the bigotry, the messages of disgust from the culture around us, if we can stand as ourselves in freedom, then our special gifts grant us a heritage of wondrous power.

We have a proud and marvelous history. In ancient days we were magic incarnate. We were Nadle, Winkte, Two-Souls, Shamans and healers and magical beings to our communities. We possessed the ability to give the blessings of the gods and spirits, and were prized as companions, lovers, and teachers.

We were the prize gift of ancient tribes, entertainers, designers and dreamers. Sometimes we were the -somewhat reluctant- rulers of empires, and the consorts of emperors. We were champions and warriors too, who were feared for our unique gifts turned to inevitable victory.

Know that it is only in recent centuries, with the rise of the single minded, monolithic and monotheistic desert religions, filled with harsh single gods and twisted, narrow morals, that our kind have become reviled, the objects of scorn. Once, we were the kin of the gods.

To be transsexual is not easy, and it is not a birth that could be envied, but neither is it a damnation. It was once considered a rare wonder, if a mixed one; a faery gift that cuts as it blesses.

And in the modern age, of hormones and surgery, we are the first generations of our kind to finally know the joy of complete transformation, of truly gaining our rightful bodies. No other transsexuals in history have been so fortunate.

I say that we are unicorns, rare and wondrous, with still a touch of ancient magic and the kinship of the gods. Though it is agony, beyond the fire we have the opportunity to become alchemic gold.

We have much to add to the world, and to give to ourselves and those who love us.

We have always been, we are still the prize of the tribe, for only the world around us has changed, the desert harshness branding us vile. We are still the same.

Our compensations are real, and our lives are special; we have but to grasp the gifts born of our sufferings.

When I look around me at the mundane lives, there are times I think that maybe I am glad I was born transsexual, for I would never have been what I have become without that curse. I cannot help but be grateful for my uniqueness, so I am brought to a strange revelation:

Deep down, I cherish having been born a transsexual.

Be a unicorn with me, and cherish it too.

transsexual.org/cherish.html – 2002

Posted on by Queer News

About Our Transgender Children And Their Families

Q: What does it mean to be transgender?

A: Transgender people are individuals of any age or sex who manifest characteristics, behaviors or self-expression, which in their own or someone else’s perception, is typical of or commonly associated with persons of another gender.

Q: Are there different types of transgender people?

A: Yes. There is great diversity among transgender people. Various terms are used to describe segments of the transgender community. Some of these terms are transvestite, crossdresser, bi-gendered, androgyne, transsexual, drag queen and male/female impersonator. Each of these terms describes a distinct type of transgender person. A detailed glossary of transgender terminology is available on request (see below).

Q: What causes a person to be transgender?

A: No definite answer can be offered to this question. Research suggests there is a biological basis for transgender behavior but to what degree is unknown. Transgender people manifest their condition at different stages in their lives ranging from infancy to old age. This leads to the observation that biology creates a capacity while nurture and individual choice may retard or accelerate the emergence or degree of transgender behavior.

Q: How many transgender people are there in the world?

A: No one knows what the population of transgender people is because there is no means of identifying and counting them. The evidence suggests that many transgender people hide their condition to avoid discrimination and abuse by others. However, transgender people are found in every society and culture, and in every country, from the most primitive to the most advanced. And, transgender people have been present throughout human history. Figures such as Saint Joan D’Arc, The Chevalier D’Eon, Lord Cornbury and Dr. Mary Walker are but a few of the transgender people to be found In the pages of history books.

Literary references to transgender people abound. In the latter half of the twentieth century the visible population of transgender people has increased into the millions worldwide. The evidence suggests that transgenderism is but another facet of the diverse human condition.

Q: Are transgender people considered to be disabled, sick or mentally ill?

A: Under the provisions of the Americans for Disabilities Act (ADA) transgender people are not considered to be disabled solely on the basis of their transgender status. Transgender people are not considered to be medically at risk by virtue of their status. Transgender people may be diagnosed by the psychiatric profession under the provisions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV), American Psychiatric Association, 1994. However, the vast majority of transgender people do not require psychiatric diagnosis or treatment and are not regarded as mentally ill or incompetent solely by virtue of their transgender status. The inclusion of transgender people in the DSM-IV is subject to periodic review. Just as homosexuality was removed from an earlier DSM, it is possible that transgender people will not be included in future DSM’s.

Q: Can transgender people be treated or cured?

A: There is no known cure or course of treatment which reverses the transgender person’s manifestation of the characteristics and behaviors of another gender. Transgender people have at times been subjected to electric shock therapy, aversion therapy (applying physical pain to condition response), drug therapy and other procedures. None of these “cures” have succeeded. Many such “cures” have been painful and dehumanizing for the victims.

Q: Is transgender behavior sinful and against the teachings of the Bible?

A: An isolated passage in the Book of Deuteronomy (22:5) reads: “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.” This passage is part of what biblical scholars refer to as the Hebrew Purity Code, a system of rules for social behavior and dietary consumption intended to “purify” the body and spirit in God’s eyes. In the broader context of the Purity Code this is a minor passage which is accompanied by prohibitions against intercourse with a menstruating woman, wearing clothing made of mixed fibers, sacrificing a blemished animal and remarrying a former wife. Taken together the prohibitions of the Purity Code amount to arbitrary cultural taboos as contrasted with the more profound precepts of the Ten Commandments. Biblical scholars and theologians warn of the danger of selective interpretation of the Bible in a way which upholds some passages while ignoring others and overlooking the broader context. Other authors point out that what “pertaineth unto a man” and what garments “pertain to women” have undergone continual change throughout history. Judged strictly by Hebrew standards the entirety of modern civilization would appear to violate the Purity Code.

Q: Are transgender people homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual?

A: The sexual orientation of transgender people may be homosexual, bisexual, or heterosexual.

Q: Are transgender people subject to discrimination and denial of their human rights? Are they subjected to hate crimes and bashing incidents?

A: Transgender people face discrimination in the workplace, in housing, in healthcare, in the military service, in prison and in the society at large. Many transgender people are unemployed or under-employed by virtue of their status. With the exception of a few jurisdictions the jobs of transgender people are not protected by law. Because of their “visible” behavior and choice of attire transgender people are frequently subjected to verbal and physical abuse by other citizens, leading in some cases to the loss of life. In the U.S.A. such hate crimes are currently not reported statistically as crimes perpetrated against transgender people.

Q: How can I help support the transgender person in my family?

A: First, offer your family member your unconditional love and support. Secondly, educate yourself about transgenderism and transgender people and their concerns. Thirdly, help your loved one educate and “come out” to other family members and friends who will be supportive.

From the PFLAG-Talk/TGS-PFLAG Virtual Library
critpath.org/pflag-talk/library.html – 2002