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Gay Dating Tips: First Date Tips for Shy Guys

Going out on your first date with a guy or meeting a guy for the first time can be a bit of a nerve racking experience, especially if your one of those shy guys.

Let me tell you something; I’m one of those shy guys. But, this is one shy guy who decided that unless he did something about it, he was never going to get laid or have a boyfriend if he didn’t get out there.

Here’s my short list of the things that I have done or used in order to get over shyness, meet interesting guys and have a “successful first date”.

But first, I’ve got to tell you, that I consider every date that I’ve ever gone on a success. Why? For starters, I’m still alive to talk and write about it. And because every date, no matter how lousy or dull was a learning experience and one more date that I DID go on.

The important thing is to get out there and start meeting guys; start making friends and get off the couch or out of your bedroom.

6 Tips for Your Successful First Date

1. Have confidence in yourself, your abilities and that the date will go well.

Guys are attracted to guys who have or exude confidence. Confidence is about knowing who you are, what you want and knowing that you’ll get it.

2. Don’t think of it as a date, think of it as meeting someone interesting, for lunch, dinner, drinks, coffee, or whatever it is you plan to do. By throwing away the “date” label you can get down to just having a pleasant outing with the guy with no “date expectations”.

3. Relax and just be you. Trying to conjure up some sort of false persona is pointless, you might impress yourself for a second or two and maybe even the other guy for a moment; until he figures out its all hype or “bull”.

It’s OK to be you and if the other guy isn’t interested in you it’s no big deal, because there’s thousands and thousands of gay men out there.

4. Arrive a little bit early. I like to arrive at places a little early for a variety of reasons, but I’ve found it a helpful habit if I’m feeling a bit nervous or shy too.

When you’re going out to a restaurant or a coffee shop, if you arrive a bit early you can go to the washroom without deserting your date, compose yourself, fix your hair, wash those sweaty palms and relieve yourself if necessary.

Arriving a little early or exactly on time also means that you won’t be rushed and you won’t be puffing out excuses as to why you were late. It just makes things easier and less stressed initially.

5. Dress for the occasion and location. You don’t need to look like a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy makeover, but if you dress nicely and appropriately for the occasion and the location, you’ll not only look great, you’ll feel great. You’ll be confident that you’re in the right attire for wherever it is you’re going out to.

And now, for my ultimate not-so-secret dating tip for shy guys…

6. Wear your “power underwear” when you go out on a date, especially your first date. If you don’t have a pair of “power underwear”, get some. The idea is to get something that makes you feel incredibly powerful and sexy.

I find that thongs in purple, red or black, fit the bill for my power underwear. They allow you to feel and be powerful, sexy, flirty, and confident; all the things you need on a date.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t end up in the sack or on the floor later on in the evening. Power underwear is something that can give the shy guy that extra little edge.

Wishing you joy and dating success!

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An Arab Gay Experience

I was molested by several men when I was a child. When I became a teenager I became very religious and tried to block my gay fantasies, something which proved to be very difficult. At the same time I was reading a lot of English language publications, such as Time, Newsweek and the Economist. There, I found gay culture and at 19 I decided that I was gay. It took another year for my first adult sexual encounter.

I was in medical school at the University of Jordan. We were studying ophthalmoscopy, the science of how to examine someone’s eyes. A colleague proposed that we go to a separate room in the hospital to practice on each other, and we did.

Instead of looking at my eyes he landed at my neck and mouth kissing and biting. I said no but I meant yes. This started a sexual relationship. However, since he was the active partner, he considered himself straight and me gay. There was a little of psychological abuse there.

We lived at the second circle. I started walking at night like most people of the time between the first and third circles. Soon, I discovered people driving slowly behind me and would also follow me into side streets. One guy picked me up and we had sex that night. At the end, he offered me a five dinar bill. I felt like a prostitute and I threw the money in his face. He did not mean harm but I took an offence at it. The guy met me several times after that, I think he liked me but I could never forgive him and he knew it.

All my Arab encounters were with men who were either married or who married later. I felt that to be gay in a western sense is not yet an Arab idea. This was in the years 1983-1989. Please remember the confidentiality issue since I am not out to my family, although I think that they know.

The Following Was received by e-mail from a gay Arab

30.7.98 N.S. @ Ahbab

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Gay Movies, DVD Films and Videos

Here’s some of my favorite “gay movies” that are great for those times when you just feel like staying at home and curling up with someone nice on the sofa. It makes for a pleasant evening of entertainment, and who knows… These movies have been known to lead to other pleasant activities afterwards

Adam & Steve

Adam & Steve is a twisted movie all about making love work-whatever the odds.

In the 1980s, Adam (Craig Chester) and Steve (Malcolm Gets) had a horrifically embarrassing one-night stand. When they meet again years later, they fail to recognize each other and fall in love-as do their wisecracking best friends (Parker Posey and Chris Kattan).

Another Gay Movie

In the dirtiest, funniest, most scandalous gay-teen-sex-comedy-parody ever, four gay friends make a pact to lose their virginity by the end of the summer…

But that’s easier said than done, as the boys face giant sex toys, naked celebrities, masochistic teachers and an uncontrollable romance with a quiche.

With a dozen jokes a minute and who’s who of gay celebrities. Another Gay Movie is a candy-colored romp where getting laid is all that matters!

The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green

Based on the popular comic strip of the same name this movie was a hit on the queer film festival circuit.

You think you have dating problems…

Ethan Green, the adorable professional assistant, attempts to make sense out of love, romance and everything in between in this romantic gay comedy.

Fabulous! The Story of Queer Cinema

The most entertaining gay history lesson you’ve ever had. Picks up where The Celluloid Closet left off! The superstars of gay and lesbian cinema shine in this amazing overview of LGBT film history.

Fabulous! The Story of Queer Cinema is packed with smart interviews and a tremendous array of film clips from the greatest movies of the genre celebrating more than half a century of queer independent filmmaking.

From Kenneth Anger’s pioneering, Fireworks (1947) to the smash hit blockbuster Brokeback Mountain.

Starring John Waters, Wilson Cruz, Guinevere Turner, Peter Paige, B. Ruby Rich, Gus Van Sant, Alan Cumming, and many more…

Brokeback Mountain

Ang Lee’s award winning and emotion stirring film, based on Annie Proulx’s short story is now available on DVD!

It’s the story of how two male lovers in the American West, during the 60’s are bound by their expected roles, how they rebel against them, and the repercussions for each of doing so.

This edition of Brokeback Mountain also includes some featurettes and interviews. A great addition to your DVD library.

Dorian Blues

If you like coming-of-age comedies then you might like watching Dorian Blues.

Dorian Blues is a bright, cheerful story about a small-town young man who realizes why he’s such a misfit — he’s gay!

Before his homophobic, Nixon-loving dad can throw him out of the house, he’s off to NYU where our hero encounters a new world of coffee houses, sophisticates and handsome men…(Sounds like a plan…)

Big Eden

Big Eden has won the audience awards at just about every gay and lesbian film festival there is. It’s also been labled as a great date movie, and I’d have to agree with that. It’s got all of the elements of a great “feel good, tear jerker, boy gets boy movie” — with some wonderful surprises and twists!

Henry (Arye Gross) is an artist living in New York but still carrying a torch for the guy he had a crush on in high school. When his grandfather has a stroke, Henry returns to his Montana hometown, Big Eden. Oh, and wouldn’t you know it, but Henry’s high school crush has since married, had children, and divorced–and seems ready to take some very different steps with his life.

Big Eden is one of those implausibly tolerant towns where lesbians kiss each other in public and old coots in cowboy hats try to play matchmaker with bashful queers.

Touch Of Pink

I enjoyed watching Touch of Pink when it was in the theaters so I’m going to get a copy of it for my DVD library.

It’s one of those comedic dramas of which there’s plenty of both in this particular movie. In fact at times Touch of Pink leans towards being kind of sappy; but in this case I was able to bear it.

The film explores the interacial gay relationship of a young, South Asian Canadian based in London and his English lover.

There’s an interesting plot device where Alim, (Jimi Mistry) is caught up in the romance, and dreams of old Hollywood that he thinks he’s living with the spirit of Cary Grant, (Kyle MacLachlan); That makes for some funny moments.

Trick

trick has been called “Magical”, “Sweet”, and “Engaging”, and I must say that the reviewers are right on all counts and then some.

The basic premise is that boy, (Gabriel an aspiring writer of Broadway musicals) meets boy, (Mark, a muscled stripper) on a subway and its lust at first sight – they are cruising for sex after all!

All they want to do is find a place for a quick tumble… and that remains their problem for the entire night right into the next day.

Throughout the night and during their cross-town Manhattan adventure/search for somewhere private, Gabriel and Mark’s relationship develops into something more than either of them had been looking for.

Tying the Knot

Tying the Knot is a critically-acclaimed film festival favorite.

This documentary is about the ferocious political battle in the US between gay people who want to marry and those determined to stop them.

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7 Things Every Gay Should Take On A Date

Here are a few suggestions or tips, on what to take with you on a date. (These dating tips are in no particular order…).

1. Your humor – A must. Guys don’t want to go out with sour-pusses.

2. Condoms and lube. You never know, but it’s best to be prepared. Personally, I try to refrain from sex on the first date, as I’ve found it helpful to make the guy wait – Drive him crazy with anticipation.

3. Wear clean, neat, tidy and appropriate clothes. It’s really amazing just how many guys think they can get away with dirty underwear, shoes that are falling apart, or looking like a construction worker when they go to a really fancy restaurant. Take pride in your appearance.

4. A couple of questions or topics that you can talk about or use as conversation starters or conversation bridges.

5. Breath mints – Keep your breath fresh and pleasant please.

6. Pen & Paper – I rarely go anywhere without these; great for jotting down and exchanging email addresses, phone numbers, Instant Message handles, websites…

7. Emergency money. Long ago, I learned the value of taking change with me for pay phones. If you get in a bind you can call a friend or a relative. Of course if you’ve got a cell phone – even better. Just remember to turn it off so that you’re paying attention to your date and not to all those people who just have to call you. I’ve also found it helpful to carry enough cash to pay for at least my portion of any meal – even if I’ve been told that “it’s on him”.

Wishing you joy and success on your dates,

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Gay Chat Rooms

Gay chat rooms, Some guys love them, others loathe them. I’ll admit that I haven’t been active in the chat rooms for a few years. However, before I set about to writing this article I decided to cruise by a few chat rooms to see what the scoop is these days… Nothing much has really changed since my chat days; which could be a good thing or not.

Chat rooms can be a good way to meet new guys. Sometimes these virtual meetings and hookups can actually lead to meeting guys in the flesh. I’ve actually made it that far a couple of times. Where things go from there, well, that’s up to you and the guy you happen to meet with.

More often than not though, chat rooms tend to be a good place for a virtual quickie, or a good place to just socialize and chat with someone new about anything or nothing in particular. In my experience and observations, the emphasis tends to be on the virtual quickies and the hunt for virtual quickies.

Timing is everything — I’ve been to chat rooms that are totally crowded and rocking. When I went back a day later — the same room would be totally dead. It all depends on the time of day or night, just how active the chat room will be and where in the world the guys are chatting from.

By the way, most of the dating services that I recommend have chat rooms for their members. The chat rooms tend to be text based chat rooms were it’s one big free for all, with the ability to create a little private room for one-on-one text chats. Some also offer one-on-one video chat services.

One of the things that I’ve noticed lately about the various portals that offer chat rooms is that in order to participate fully or to be able to use the full range of features that the site uses, prospective members are encouraged to upgrade their free chat accounts to a paid account.

In fact, at MSN chat, which had quite a number of gay chat rooms, it doesn’t look like free members can do anything anymore other than lurk in the corner and watch people chat. You hd got to upgrade to a premium chat account which happens to also give you a premium Hotmail account.

One of the reasons that the chat room providers are starting to charge money is to help cut down on the spammers who like to do fly by advertising in chat rooms. Chat rooms tend to be really expensive to run too as they use a lot of bandwidth and processes.

In any event, I’ve been out collecting links to gay chat rooms, which I’ll list here. I’m working on a more comprehensive list or directory of places to chat and I’ll post it to this website when it’s completed.

(For those guys that don’t know, Chat and Forums are two different things. Chat is real time, whilst forums are message boards where the conversation, topic or posts can last for quite some time.)

Short List of A Few Popular Gay Chat Sites & Chat Rooms:

All of these chat sites require registration — some may cost extra for full benefits.

• Discort Gay Chat — Yes, there’s also quite a few gay chats going on here. See my note above…

• Free Chat Now— Yes, there’s lots of gay chats and networking going on here.

• Telegram Gay Chat— Predominately straight chat portal with quite a few gay chat rooms and chat boards.

• Slack Gay Chat — Predominately straight chat portal with quite a few gay chat rooms and chat boards. Look in the Adult and Romance areas for the gay chat rooms…

Also, check out my recommended dating sites for more chat rooms. I should also mention that many of the gay community sites that I feature at my gay links site have chat rooms as well.

Now go and have yourself a bit of fun!

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Gay Marriage Facts: What you need to Know about Same Sex Marriage

It used to be men and ladies. Presently, society considers a third sex which we generally allude to as gays. Throughout the years, gay individuals are battling for acknowledgment in the general public and also enabling them to wed whoever they pick in view of one’s established certification of balance. While a few preservationists contradict to this thought, there are numerous libertarians who are going down this support, regardless of the possibility that it takes conveying this up to Congress or the Highest Court of the Land.

Definition of Gay Marital Union

Otherwise called same sex marriage, gay person union is a marriage between two people of the same organic sex or sex personality. At the end of the day, it is the union amongst man and man or lady and lady as indicated by their own particular individual freedom and individual inclination.

Marriage among gay can be performed either through a common function or religious setting as there are different religious gatherings that help gay person marriage and permit same sex wedding services.

Same Facts about Homosexual Marriage

Marriage should be a union amongst man and lady. In any case, that is not the situation here. Throughout the years, more nations are gradually perceiving and authorizing a similar sex conjugal unions and notwithstanding giving advantages and equivalent get to like relational unions amongst man and lady. The accompanying demonstrates the distinctive gay marriage facts:

Acknowledgment of same sexual orientation marriage as a common right has turned into a political, good, social and religious issue among a great deal of nations. That is the reason the main laws permitting same sexual orientation unions were just authorized amid mid 2000.

Netherlands was the main nation to permit gay person marriage when same sex conjugal union bill was passed and turned into a law on April 1, 2001 with 3.6% of the aggregate number of relational unions ascribed to gay couples. In any case, the quantity of strange marriage dropped throughout the years with just 1,100 couples getting hitched on 2005.

As of April 2013, there were just twelve nations that legitimately perceive and permit same sex couples to wed – Argentina, Belgium, Uruguay, Canada, Sweden, Denmark, South Africa, Iceland, Spain, Netherlands, Portugal and Norway.

Albeit a few nations on the planet don’t permit execution of marriage among same sex couples, there are other legitimately perceived unions permitted, for example, common organization, common union or residential association. In spite of the fact that there is as yet a different status, this sort of union offers benefits and lawful outcomes of marriage in spite of the non-execution of the function.

By the American Psychological Association and American Psychiatric Association, the budgetary, physical and mental prosperity of couples of a similar sex are upgraded by marriage, in this manner making it helpful for kids to be raised by gay accomplices. Additionally considers even demonstrate that gay guardians are fit and competent as hetero guardians wherein the youngsters raised will be mentally solid and composed. The Roman Catholic Church is among the greatest religious division who contradicts and pledges unequivocally against same sex marriage.

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Finding Out Where All the Gay Men Are

One of the problems that a lot of guys have and are asking me about is where they can find other gay men — besides at the online personals sites.

Most of the guys that ask this question have one or more of the following characteristics:

1. They live in a smaller city, when compared to the BIG cities.

2. They’re usually not “Out” or they’ve only been out for a short while and don’t have many gay friends.

3. They think they’re the only gay person in their area.

Tune up your Gaydar, because regardless of your circumstances and regardless of where you live we’re going to take a look at some of the ways you can find out where all the gay men in your area hang out.

Now I do realize that it’s possible to live in a town where there’s next to no gay men around or at least none that are available. I have lived in some really small towns – three and four digit populations… So, you may have to take the occasional trip to your nearest large town in order to find any sizable gay population.

The first thing you need to do is take a good hard look at the city or town that you do live in. I had a boyfriend who claimed that there were no gay bars or gay organizations in his town. I couldn’t believe it because he lived in a University town and one of the Universities or Colleges had a major arts program…

Sure those aren’t proof that there’s got to be some gays out there, but my Gaydar says that those are indications that there’s going to be a few gays hanging around town. A quick flick through the local phone book confirmed my suspicions. Three gay bars, (one of them was a leather bar), a couple of gay book stores, the campus Pride Society – all in a “conservative mid-west state town”.

The phone book or Yellow Pages is a great resource. Whenever I’m traveling, one of the first things I do when I arrive or stop off in a city, is check out the phone book for gay book stores and gay bars.

Another resource that I’ve found invaluable is gay book stores. In addition to finding good reading material or a cute book store owner, employee or fellow gay bookworm, gay book stores often sell or give away “Pink Pages”. What are Pink Pages? They’re like the Yellow Pages, only geared towards the Gay and Lesbian community. Sometimes the Pink Pages are brochure sized, others are larger – booklet sized publications.

Speaking of the Pink Pages, there’s numerous Pink Pages on the web – many that are specific to certain cities or regions. Go to your favorite search engine, type in “Pink Pages” or try “Pink Pages and The City That You Live In”. (Skip the quotation marks.)

Two last points about gay book stores… Check out the inevitable bulletin board AND ask the clerk where the gay hot spots are. Also ask him about the special events, Pride festivals or social clubs and groups that happen and meet in your area.

Another place that you should check out is your local PFLAG chapter, (Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). In the U.S. pflag.org is the site to visit. You can find out where your local chapter is, find out more about gender identity and sexual orientation as well as some great tips on coming out. In Canada, pflag.ca is the site to go to.

Once you start doing a little research you’ll begin finding out about the places to go to. You’ll find that there are more opportunities than meet the eye – you may even find that there’s a much larger and vibrant gay community than you suspected. That’s when you’ll start meeting other gay men or at the very least the opportunity to meet them.

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Does Islam Support the Burning of Homosexuals?

I read that a 2015 Moroccan magazine cover asked the question “Should homosexuals be burned?”

Is burning considered as a means of execution in 2015?

Here is the answer from a Question and Answer Islamic site: islamqa.info/en/38622

Below is the question asked on this website.

What is the punishment for homosexuality? Is there any differentiation between the one who does it and the one to whom it is done?.

Here is the answer from the site (not the entire article as it contained scholars meetings over the years on this topic.

The crime of homosexuality is one of the greatest of crimes, the worst of sins and the most abhorrent of deeds, and Allaah punished those who did it in a way that He did not punish other nations. It is indicative of violation of the fitrah, total misguidance, weak intellect and lack of religious commitment, and it is a sign of doom and deprivation of the mercy of Allaah. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.

The crime of homosexuality is one of the greatest of crimes, the worst of sins and the most abhorrent of deeds, and Allaah punished those who did it in a way that He did not punish other nations. It is indicative of violation of the fitrah, total misguidance, weak intellect and lack of religious commitment, and it is a sign of doom and deprivation of the mercy of Allaah. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.

Are There Exceptions to Execution? (My question)

Here is the answer from the Site

1 – There is no hadd punishment if the one who has been sodomized is forced into it, such as if the one who did it overpowered him or threatened him with death or beating and the like. End quote.

2 – If the one to whom it was done is a minor and has not reached the age of puberty. There is no hadd punishment in this case, but he should be disciplined and punished in a way that will deter him from committing this crime, as stated above in the quotation from Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah.

Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) narrated in al-Mughni (9/62) that there is no difference of opinion among the scholars concerning the fact that the hadd punishment should not be carried out on one who is insane or a boy who has not yet reached the age of puberty.

And Allaah knows best.

End of Article.

My comment:

Unknown-6paula: I cannot see Allaah as a God of such hatred towards his creation. Like so many religions that were founded long ago, there is no room for scientific thought. World-wide bodies of psychologists and psychiatrists are in total agreement that homosexuality is a born orientation.

They state that homosexuality is NOT a disease, mental problem or perversion (as stated in the Quran and the Old Testament). Furthermore, they state that homosexuality CANNOT be reversed and therefore, it is NOT a choice.

Would a God punish people born homosexuality. It is my opinion that He/She would not. It is my opinion, as I read this site that the emphasis is on DEATH and ways of executing and NOT on LOVE. It is on judging people born homosexual. Has it never occurred to these bigots that homosexuality has been in existence since the dawn of civilization? Are they blind to the fact that homosexuality is in EVERY country? My God is a God of love.

Paula, 2015, stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com

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Moroccan Magazine Cover: Should Gays Be Burned?

A magazine cover which asked “should gay people be burned” has been withdrawn. In view of the United Nations Charter of Rights and Freedoms – NO religion or culture has the right to take away basic human rights and these include sexual orientation. Extreme and hateful religious fanatics are portraying God as a God of wrath – instead of a God of love. These bigots use ancient texts and avoid scientific data. Paula.

A Magazine That Should Face a Law Suit?

The cover of Maroc Hebdo posed the question in response to the Moroccan Ministry of Health’s call for homosexuality to be decriminalised.

It also asked “What about moral and religious values?”

Within the magazine, which has now been withdrawn from sale, there were three articles – one which outline the situation for gay people in Morocco, an interview with pro-gay activist Abdellah Taia, and a piece by staff writer Mustapha Sehimi.

Staff Writer is Ignorant of Scientific Data

Sehimi writes: “Today, more than 70 states forbid homosexuality. In around ten of them, the sentence gay people risk death penalty.

“There is a public moral to preserve… religious values too… There is still a lot to do to strenghten human rights in Morocco so we don’t have to be misled into some dubious fight for such a marginal purpose as decriminalization of homosexuality.”

After the cover was published, many took to social media to point out that the photograph of two men featured on the magazine’s cover was actually taken at a gay-friendly hotel in Cancun.

Others simply took to Facebook to ask questions like: “Are you stupid”, and “Your covers are the worst.”

Others tweeted their distaste at the cover, calling it “criminal”, “irresponsible” and “shameful”.

In a statement Maroc Hebdo said: “Given the particularly strong reactions through social media, Morocco Hebdo decided to withdraw this issue from sale and its sites on the internet.

“It presents at the same time its apologies to all readers who were offended by this theme and it stresses it has no other requirement other than to continue to work for the expansion of a national debate on… the shape of society.”

Paula: What is there to debate? Human rights should trump any religion. The debate, since it will continue, should present the findings of most psychological and psychiatric associations world-wide. They write that homosexuality is not a disease, mental condition or PERVERSION (as stated by right wing religious zealots). They also state that homosexuality CANNOT be changed, therefore, it is NOT a choice.

If religions are to raise the soul towards heaven why do they persecute someone who is born a homosexual. This is NOT God-like. This is not loving God’s creation.

Paula, 2015, stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com

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Dating & Living With an Older Gay Man

I sometimes get asked about what it’s like dating or living with an older gay man. I also get asked for tips and advice on how to deal with family and friends or how I dealt with my family and friends when they found out I was dating and in fact now living with a man 22 years older than myself.

I have actually written about many of these questions and problems in my other articles here as the articles are all based on my personal experiences of mainly dating older men, as well as my life living with one for seven years now.

However, a recent email inspired me to write some more on this subject and to try and address a few specific points that I may not have covered quite so clearly before.

One of the problems or hurdles that you will face if you are involved in a relationship with a gay man where there is a significant age gap is how others will perceive that relationship.

Another hurdle that you may face is how you think other people will perceive your relationship with an older or younger gay man.

In my own life, the later point is actually the one that gave me the most problems.

I actually gave myself more grief and worry about what other people might think than what actually happened and what these people actually do think about our relationship.

These days, I don’t worry about people thinking negatively about our relationship because in the first place it’s not theirs and in the second place most people are too busy with their own problems and relationships to really be too concerned.

I took me many years to get to this comfort point in my life; it wasn’t easy and I will admit that even to this day I sometimes have the occasional bit of anxiety.

How could I have made things easier on myself? That’s something that I sometimes think about and the answer that keeps repeating itself is that I should have come out to my parents a lot earlier than when I did.

But I was young and scared of what they might think or do and what my friends might think and do. As it turned out, I came out to my parents when I was older and at a pretty low point in my life, still scared of what everyone might say and do.

To make thing just a little more interesting and difficult, the day I came out was also the day that they officially found out that I was living with an older man who was the same age as they were.

Yes, they got a double whammy that day!

I broke the news awkwardly to my mum first. I don’t remember exactly what either of us said, it’s all a blur but it basically went something like this…

“Mum, you know how I’m renting a room from Ian and how I invite him to all our family get-togethers? Well he’s not really my landlord. He’s my lover and has been since I moved in with him”.

A short pause of silence greets this revelation and then my mum responds with, “It’s OK; I kind of figured that might be the case”.

After I left my parents place, my head still spinning at what I’d just done, I received a phone call from my Dad; “It’s OK son”, he said.

I was elated! Years of guilt started lifting from my shoulders.

I had begun the next phase of my life as a gay man of thirty something.

I honestly don’t know what I would have done had this opportunity presented itself when I was younger, and in my early twenties; or nineteen for that matter.

I do know that it was important to finally come out to my family and formally introduce the man who was my lover and partner.

I was quite literally getting sick from hiding in the closet and hiding a relationship that was extremely important to me, as Ian wasn’t just some guy that I was occasionally going out with. My entire life was and is to this day revolving around him – we’re partners.

Do we get strange looks or questions? Sure sometimes. But for the most part people are too busy to really concern themselves. For others that we meet it’s often a case of, “Oh well, that’s interesting, looks like it’s been good for both of you.” And still others are down right envious.

In any event, it matters not what they think; what matters is us and our happiness.